Several of you have asked me to summarize what I learned during the ComfortRetreat. It was a life-changing four days, but I’ll try to give you the gist of each speaker. You can click on the name to head to their website for further wisdom. I’ll try to sum up all of Jen’s wisdom at the end. This is an impossible task; I’ll have to split it into two posts. You really should just go and sign up for her next workshop….but here goes, my notes~hope they provide some insight to you and help you to live the life you were meant to live.
- Journal about your thoughts re: $ when you were a child
- Focus on how can I help this person…How can I serve this person – go right to THAT!
- Ask yourself: What do I want to create
- Don’t go unconscious about $
- Move from fear to love and creativity
- Your beliefs need to serve you – if they don’t then DON’T honor those beliefs
- RE: email: ask- What would I like to create, given this email? e.g. Take a break, then come back, This is in juxtaposition to acting emotionally all day
- Even though this is a bad market, ask yourself: What opportunity do I have to serve others?
- “A Creative Life is a Fearless Life”
- How do I get beyond being a $ avoider – it’s about growing up
- Responsibility is a CHOICE not a FEELING
- Observe when you reflect that you’ve handled everything in the past – it’s the projection into the future that carries the anxiety
- MEDITATION: get on your deathbed and see that you’ve handled everything
- Sharon Salzburg: “Faith is listening to your inner voice and trusting your inner experiences”
FEAR: your fear is like everyone else’s…Things are scary…Things are hard sometimes…Honor your fear, but don’t attach to it
#1. Don’t try to conquer or get rid of it
#2 Don’t try to convince yourself that your fear is not real; it’s inconsequential
#3 Don’t put pressure on yourself to accept it, befriend it, etc.
- retreat is about safety and feeling love, but Fear is also about safety
- If I succeed, people will figure out that I am fat and lazy…they will see my faults
- What if I succeed fabulously- become really rich – will the family accept me? Will I be ashamed? Will I still be loved?
- Can i open myself to $ and not be stupid with it? Can i accept $ and still love people?
- I can break down the walls. I can open myself by what will come to me.
- Give yourself permission to not be doing it – the thing you want to do…
- Shiva Nata exercise: ring thumb and pinkie together. Spread middle 3 fingers to the outer eyes right above eyebrows…Then thumb to mid-chin; pinkie to skin above lip…then very light touch….then slowly move them away as if they were magnets…Then rest them in your lap
“We don’t ever get done with things; we just keep going”
- Percolating vs. Procrastination: Give yourself permission for , say, 2 hours in the garden. Do the finger positions and the breathing. Give yourself the permission to receive the gift.
- Take short pauses and do the replenishing exercises like yoga, breathing, meditation, etc. After a while the body really craves it ~ you get used to it and remind yourself of what is important
- What is your intention NOW? Are you honoring your intention?
- Index finger & middle finger TAP beneath nose to ground you into calmness
- Use a stone or something to remind you that what youare feeling is OK – you don’t have to feel positive all the time…just notice how it is for you!
Your life purpose is not something you create – it is asking what is within you? It is excavation. You TUNE in to it…work form a deep listening. It is part of your DNA – an imprint on your soul- there is NO WAY you could NOT be this way. It’s your Divine essence – your sweet perfume. The purpose is WHO not WHAT
VISION: is what you see as possible, e.g. everyone is a coach
MISSION: what are you going to do? e.g. create tools to raise people’s consciousness
PURPOSE: what is unique to you to see (Vision) the way you do and how you carry it out (Mission)
CRITERIA to know if you are following your purpose:
1. Something you already do
2. You are impacting people
Mother Theresa Syndrome: Something I feel I have to do…Your purpose is not a plan or a great scheme. She just did it…she saw the sick man and tried to help him…then folks were attracted to her
PURPOSE is not a Goal. It’s not conditional on whether you’re impact is large or small
The goal, if there is one is to simply listen and follow that inner urging.
JUST DO THE WORK YOU CAME HERE TO DO.
You have to be out there delivering your essence. Let opportunity find you by being out there. You have to give in order to get. And don’t judge yourself.
HOW do we access this?
Questions to discover your purpose:
1. What do people always come to you for?
2. What do people say you should do or be?
3. What is your whole life about?4.What is the essence of your dream? The true gift/essence from the universe is the essence – the gift inside the label- it’s a WHO not a WHAT. Ask yourself what would be possible if I am successful in my dream? Who would I get to be? It’s possible to do it TODAY because you already do it…JUST TURN THE VOLUME UP!
NOTE: Some may be already living IT , but since it doesn’t look the way we think it SHOULD look, we rob the JOY out of it.
JOURNAL on these questions. Don’t be afraid to ask siblings and friends their insight on these questions…
It’s an energetic question. WHAT am I drawn to do? What am I rejecting as annoying….e.g. Sitting on hands to avoid leadership role…Don’t cut off your WHO because then you cut off your way to make $
It’s this yummy thing that is already inside you. Relax back into it. Avoid struggling against it.
Are you giving yourself enough rest and relaxation during the day – periods of awakening awareness?
There is a spiritual ideal that is completely false: it’s just not possible to be AWAKE all of the time – even the Dalai Lama, he, like all of us, needs Down time from the heights of AWARENESS. Holding on to that ideal is a way we terrorize ourselves.
Keep asking: What really does nourish and comfort us?
Ask yourself: At the moment – not what a GOOD person or an Enlightened person would do – What do I want and need to do right now?
People are afraid to see – to look at- What do they really want? Because they get caught up with some ideal notion of the Self – so they think they should be, say, meditating instead of watching TV.
What is it that you really want to eat?
It’s usually what you haven’t been allowing yourself – which isn’t necessarily what you really want.
HOW YOU DEAL WITH FOOD IS HOW YOU DEAL WITH LIFE.
When you eat emotionally, you keep yourself from wanting what you REALLY LONG FOR
RUMI: be the doorway!
So, come into your body, right now – sense your body- Because if you have left yourself there is no one left to BE
What would the 250,000 people who are dying today would give to have your breath, your arms, your legs….
Take these breaks during the day to check in with yourself
Ask yourself, Do I trust that my emotional needs will be met?
Do I want somebody else to do it – Am I willing to cherish myself in ways other than food? Am I willing to take the time to inquiry and figure out and ask Am I willing to cherish myself…do I feel worthy of being cherished?
There is always something else that is needed – other than the food.
Ask your self out loud: What is it honey? What do you need? Are you willing to give it to yourself?
Sometimes it is hard and it takes a NO – a cancellation, but it requires the commitment to cherishing yourself.
RUMI calls it an appointment to be with yourself everyday.
Sometimes we get anxious just from the stories we tell ourselves.
FIRST STEP in overcoming emotional eating : First impulse is to cut this out BUT instead of trying to get rid of the emo. eating urge – TRY USING IT AS A DOORWAY. Look at it for what is has to teach!
She never tries to get rid of anything EVER. See nothing as a wall. Look at it as a DOOR and then go through!
There are always exquisitely good reasons why people turn to food.BUT you can always Turn them into BLESSINGS.
Keep returning to yourself over and over again, sensing your arms and legs.
“Your body is the piece of the universe you’ve been give” Keep being aware of your body.
“Oh it’s me here; I get to have this life. I get to live in this fullness.” 😎
TWO WAYS OF KEEPING CALM:
-let the inner genius get excited about what she wants
-get in touch with your feelings
Popeyes: I am what I am and that is all that I am
The Secret to Success: Isolation is the Dream Killer!
All you have to do is SHOW UP. e.g Mom making dinner even though she isn’t thrilled about it.
What is relevant is the 4 step process:
1. WHAT YOU LOVE IS WHAT YOU ARE GIFTED AT!
IDEA Party: email her and she’ll tell you how!
If you can frame your wish and your obstacle…find the sweet spot…and then what did you love most about it (the sweet spot)?
-Go over everything you’ve ever loved to do: what would make you smile- rate each item on a scale of 1(throw up) -10 (ecstasy)
Everything that is 7 or above write down on a piece of paper..throw out the others. Don’t think about “if I can make $ at it” or anything else…just write.
e.g. horse swims because it has to…it RUNS because it loves to
#1. You don’t know what’s possible
-Take anything that’s an 8 or 9 and say that’s my wish.
-What’s your obstacle?
3. Then plan and date it
Backward Planning: Crafting – flow chart…work backwards until you get to a step you can do TODAY
4. When you feel the RESISTANCE WHISPERER, it’s becasue youare scared or stubborn or angry. You are afraid of your feelings!
If I were screaming, what would I be screaming NOW…Put words to it and listen to those words
STEP #2…write Everything down while you are hot….
People get excited about something and then they crash and there is depression. It’s nature’s way of protecting you, so wallow in it. Get into bed, suck your thumb and when you’re sick of it – go back to the lists and then move tothird step.
STEP #3 ACTION MODE
When you aren’t inspired nor depressed…this is whenyou feelOK and everything gets done.
WORKING ON YOUR DREAM: Whenever you are doing something new~ youare certain to get scared plenty of times
We were not put on this planet to use up natural resources – WE were put here for the gift of life – to share our gifts that we were born with.
That’s it for tonight. Tomorrow I’ll cover: SUSAN PIVER, Dr.JUDITH ORLOFF,MICHAEL BUNGAY STANIER, MICHAEL NEILL, and JEN LOUDEN