Monthly Archives: January 2010

Yoga Sutra 1.13, an emotional life

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Yoga Sutra 1.13 : tatra sthitau yatno’bhyasah

Bernard Bouanchaud’s translation: Persevering practice is the effort to attain and maintain the state of mental peace.

Patanjali tells us here that practice IS the effort to maintain inner peace. I’ve often wondered how I could maintain anything when I am twirling off into anger, or joy, or sadness, or confusion, or any of the other myriad emotions that flit through my being from one moment to the next. Then I re-read this sutra. There is nothing here about annihilating emotions. The practice is the work of maintaining equilibrium of the Self.

I’ve been working a lot with my emotions lately, wondering how do they fit into an awakened life? When am I processing an emotion and when is an emotion taking over? How do the stories I spin in my mind, in reaction to events in my life (shenpa), stir up emotions and feed them? How much leeway can I or do I afford any given emotion on any given day? For years, I’ve sat with the meditation:

I am not my thoughts.

I am not my emotions.

I am not my body.

Though I sat and repeated these phrases, I knew that on many levels I really DID identify myself as any or all of these aspects of my Self and I had no clue HOW one could do otherwise. Really, I know that my body continually changes, ages, and grows tired, but isn’t that big hulking tired person my Self? It’s hard enough to IMAGINE my self with a different body, much less to de-identify with having a body at all!

Thank you meditation.

Thank you savasana.

Thank you restorative yoga.

When I do these practices, I am often able to disengage from identity, whether intellectual, physical, emotional, spiritual (yes, I get caught identifying myself in those trips too!). I can breathe into the larger Self, the connection of us all. It is a spacious place. It is a place of joy. Compassion. Expansion. Beauty. Rest. Stillness. Energy. Awareness. It is nowhere. And everywhere.I am no one. And every one.

In this TED video (yes,I’m becoming a TED junkie :-) Eve Ensler speaks eloquently about the importance of maintaining an emotional life. And true to form, I was crying halfway through. Thank you Eve, for reminding us of our wholeness in this age of fracture.

a yogini by any other name is still barefootandupsidedown

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If you’ve found this page, then you have discovered that LaughingYogini has reincarnated as Barefoot & UpsideDown.

In an effort to create a name that more accurately reflected the site content, the shift was probably inevitable.

*Really, I have never done laughter yoga, though who knows, you may find me sometime rocking my belly in the loudest, most ungainly gulps of mirth with an official laughter group.

*Another thing, I’M NOT EVEN FUNNY ~ not in writing on this blog anyway. As much as I WANT to be humorous, not many jokes appear here.

I DO wholeheartedly embrace the notion of laughing at myself AND of bringing a light touch into the studio and practice. That I will continue to write about.

I apologize to those of you who may get thrown off as the address shifts. It’ll take me a bit to find all the places I’ve registered as LY and change them over. Also, please check your RSS Feed. In the process of combing through the site, we found that was not working correctly.

So even though I’ve been searching for over a year to find a replacement for LY (ever try to discover an untaken domain name?), there is some sadness in watching her go.

Please join me in welcoming this new/old one into the blogosphere and wishing a HAPPY BIRTH DAY to Barefoot & Upside Down!

Niyama 1, Clean Up Your Act with Shauca

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Yoga Sutra 2.40: saucat svanga jugupsa parairh asamsargah

Purity protects one’s body and brings nonphysical relationships with others. (trans. B. Bouanchaud)

Yoga Sutra 2.41: sattva suddhi saumanasya ekagrya inddriyajaya atma darsana yogyatvani ca

Then, purity, clarity, and well-being of the spirit come to flower, as well as concentration, mastery of the eleven sense organs, and perception of the inner being. (trans. B. Bouanchaud)

Is cleanliness next to Godliness? Before I began studying the Yoga Niyamas I would have been scoffing in cynicism, eyebrows raised in disbelief at the *ancient* saying. That was something our mothers said that was soooo not relevant to the twenty-first century.

The yoga sutras push the whole cleanliness concept a whole lot further than, say keeping your room picked up. Patanjali links purity of body with purity of mind. No surprise there for anyone who has practiced yoga for even a month or two.

I am reminded of my Catholic school education. When preparing for the sacrament of First Confession, or Penance as it is called now we learned many ways that we can break our relationship with God. It is not only the body that can sin, but the mind as well, Sister Mary Grace would tell us. Though at times I have pooh-poohed this teaching as one that carried a truckload of guilt in its big flat bed, I now understand from my practice that pretty much EVERYTHING I do starts in my cantankerous MIND. Clearing my mind with a hard physical practice, or focused pranayama, or chanting a mantra can have amazing results with removing toxic thoughts and feelings. My body glows when my mind shines! This is shauca, or existing in a state of purity.

And no sense getting all bogged down in guilt either; shit happens as they say, and life is all about accumulating stress. A definition of life might just be that which acquires STRESS. Our job as yogins is to reduce and cleanse our systems so that pure energy can flow and energize us.

Taking another approach: everything starts with the BODY. If I clean and honor my body, my thoughts begin to flow purely and positively. Mike and I are turning our diets to the vegan side (ahh, it’s harder than I thought it would be, but more about that later). Only a couple of weeks in though, and we both notice a growing mental clarity and wakefulness. My insides feel cleaner than ever! My thoughts grow more gentle.

Amy Weintraub writes, in Yoga for Depression, that the Yamas and Niyamas (yogic ethics and observances) constitute a program for positive mental health. She suggests mantra for attaining a state of mental purity. Tat tvam asi, or You are that, a mantra from the Advaita vedanta tradition she uses, repeating the words, You are with me. Recognizing the nondual notion that there is no difference between You and That, the practitioner can settle into a state of equilibrium, if not ecstatic bliss.

Can you take one step today toward cleaning up your life? Making a committment to do it is the first step.

Lovingkindness meditation

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Fredonia NY Daylily (ckg photo)

This is a GREAT time to practice METTA or Lovingkindness meditation. HAITI challenges us to step up to the compassion plate. Please try to offer some lovingkindness for not only the Haitians effected by the earthquake, but also for their families,the aid workers, and the governments involved that something may be done to ease the long-term suffering of the Haitians. Teachers, please consider beginning or ending your classes by teaching your students the metta phrases and offering them for Haitians everywhere.

This post is a looooong overdue response to Svasti’s comment on LaughingYogini’s Home or Homeless? post regarding Lovingkindness meditation. In the post I said:

MEDITATION: Georg Feuerstein, in The Yoga-Sutra of Patanjali, says that there is a meditation wherein the four virtues: friendliness, compassion, gladness, and equanimity are radiated from the practitioner into the universe. This sounds very similar to metta or lovingkindness meditation that I have mentioned before. Beginning with oneself, and eventually including all sentient beings, the meditator offers the following phrases (or others that resonate more deeply):

May I be free from danger.

May I be happy.

May I be healthy.

May I live with ease and abundance.

Svasti responded to that excerpt:

What annoys me about the Feuerstein quote is the ‘I’, ‘I’, ‘I’. Generally most prayers are phrased as:

May all beings be free from danger.
May all beings be happy.
May all beings be healthy.
May all beings live with ease and abundance.

To me, this is much healthier, because its recognizing all conscious beings and offering to one and all, Self included.

I am afraid that I misrepresented Feuerstein in that piece.There should be a break in the middle of that paragraph, when I begin MY thoughts (& depart from paraphrasing GF): This sounds very similar to metta or lovingkindness meditation that I have mentioned before. Beginning with oneself, and eventually including all sentient beings, the meditator offers the following phrases (or others that resonate more deeply).

The other misunderstanding comes from an insufficient explanation of metta practice in the earlier post. For that I refer the reader to LaughingYogini’s page on Lovingkindness Meditation, which can be found here.

Practice Journal, Inversions

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Fredonia NY October rose (ckg photo)

What is it about being upside down that causes such a rush? Is it the increased blood flow? Is it the heart rest? Is it because Mind rests more easily and fully when the legs are up? Is it more psychological: being upside down forces up to look at the world with a different perspective?

Last night I practiced inversions. Beginning with headstand (sirsasana) where I am still working at moving my legs away from resting upon the wall. This is a years loooong struggle for me.But it took me years to be able to kick up by myself, so the lesson is patience ~ and practice. Being in the unsettled throws of perimenopause, there are many weeks, or months where it is not advisable to practice inversions, so I grow frustrated at my lack of progress. And yet, every breath where my feet are not resting upon the wall I claim as personal victory… over what?  My body or my mind or a bodymind combo that seems intent upon keeping me earthbound when all my heart wants to do is to fly?

Three conscious breaths. That’s all I EVER need. No matter what posture I am inhabiting.

Then I did three pincha mayurasanas without kicking up. You may call these bent arm dogs. An attempt to strengthen my arms for the eventual day when I will be able to kick up! I am resolved to continue the practice, no matter how many years it takes. Then I did one half handstand where the shakes took over and I breathed through them, but then came down into child pose when I felt as if my feet where going to fall off the wall anyway. Can you relate?

Then shoulderstand (sarvangasana) wherein I found a perfect support system ~ ahhh, what joy when the body feels supported and can relax into a pose! I used four blankets folded in quarters and laid one upon the other in a stair step fashion to support my neck and two blankets folded half again laid side by side and angled at one end away from each other making a valley for the neck to drop into with the shoulders supported upon the blankets themselves. A chair placed at the end of my mat provided support for my feet during plough. My back is not feeling particularly strong these days so I scissor kicked one leg at a time down to the chair for ekapada sarvagasana.

I was surprised at the end of the practice that an hour and a half had flown by. All I’d done were four inversions!

A student said today that whenever she practiced legs up the wall, her Mind began to race.  Thanks, but no thanks she said when offered an eye bag. A sandbag placed upon a block with the end resting upon her forehead offered minimal relief. So during this  morning’s class I suggested she try lifting further into an inversion. She is slow and fearful of inversions, so we went for viparita karani with hips supported on a bolster and legs supported as well as ankles belted. Due to persistent hot flashes, we didn’t bother with a blanket tucked around her feet and legs. The set-up did bring her some relief, but we’ll continue working on her moving deeper into inversions. For savasana, I suggested some torso and head support with bolster and blanket.

I’d love to hear how you work inversions into your practice.

NAMASTE

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In class recently, a new student asked me what “namaste” meant. I answered simply, “It means that the sacred in me honors the sacred in you.” I didn’t tell her that in Bengal, they usually say “namascara” as my meditation teacher did. He had lived and studied in Calcutta Bengal India, so naturally he insisted the proper phrase was “namascara.” And the year we lived in India, I heard “namascara” often as not. But I also bow to the yogic tradition in America and use “namaste” in my classes.

Linguistic technicality aside, today I post with a heart weeping for all Haitians. If I could be of any help to those suffering on the island, I’d be there in a breath. I’m sure you would as well. It is difficult to sit here and feel helpless as far as lifting one of those slabs of concrete, or even soothing a traumatized brow. This earthquake is a disaster of unbelievable magnitude. I need to practice ujjayi breath!

This post is dedicated to all Haitians who are injured, mentally or physically. I bow to the sacred in you. NAMASTE.

Practice Journal, Standing pose flow

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January 11, 2010 FOCUS: Standing Pose Flow

Last night I spent some time writing and pondering my dreams, which has been a theme this month, both at the Comfort Cafe and on  the cool blog I recently discovered, Chris Guillebeau’s The Art of Noncomformity.

In the middle of this quiet activity,a strong tug drew me into the standing poses. David Darling’s musical massage “balance” cd pulled me into a flow: Triangle (Trikonasana), Warrior 2 (Virabhadrasana 2), Right Angle (Parsvakonasana), Half Moon (Ardha Chandrasana), Warrior 3 (Virabhadrasana 3), Warrior 1 (Virabhadrasana 1), Parsvottanasana, and Prasarita.

I practiced each pose on one side and then the other, focusing on creating a graceful flow.

When needed, a block provided support. Wooden or bamboo blocks would have been better suited to my needs because the foam blocks I have are too unstable. Balance was an issue. In part,  because of the double mats I use in the basement. Next time I’ll take my chances with a single mat. On the other hand, being rather unstable pushed me to focus even more.

One of the challenges of practicing a flow is to maintain focus in the body. Awareness of your own movement through space sharpens. There is strength in graceful movement! When Mind wanders, the quivery limbs follow suit and who knows where you’ll end up?

I ended up laughing at myself and my perfection-seeking. Then refocused, and tried the pose again.

My back began feeling the flow, so I went into child pose and then savasana using a bolster beneath my knees, a blanket beneath my head, and a sandbag on my lower abdomen. One of the heavier eye bags placed on my forehead helped quiet my mind.

I often enter a timeless space when practicing deep relaxation, it’s usually much longer than I had sensed. Was surprised last night at the amount of time I had been in corpse. Only ten minutes. My intention had been for a longer stay, at least twenty minutes. Hmmm, maybe use a timer next time. Or not, and just go with the flow of BodyMind consciousness.

What do you think?

Practice Journal, Momyogini on the phone

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Jan.10, 2010 FOCUS: Seated forward bends and twists


viparita karani, legs up the wall pose


This afternoon I practiced viparita karani (legs up the wall) on my platform bed. At first, I thought I’d put on a cd but then decided against it, so I could enter a more meditative state. What happened was that I entered a more somnambulistic state.

My snoring woke me up 45 minutes later! There is something, some unknown quality, to a yogic nap that never fails to leave me feeling refreshed and wonderful.

Ten minutes of supta baddha konasana in the early evening. Became aware of energy moving upwards from lower torso. A good feeling!

At eleven o’clock I started for the studio for my usual before-bed practice. Just as I was heading down into the basement, there was a phone call from my daughter. What’s a mommy-yogini to do? I didn’t want to ignore my daughter, but I also didn’t want to ignore my practice. So I did both!

Donning headphones, I went to my mat that was already set up and waiting for me, and situated on a folded blanket, I practiced seated forward bends and twists as we chatted.

After our conversation, I sat in baddha konasana and practiced ujjayi breathing. I found it a challenge to lift mula bandha on the exhalation in this pose. Faith! practice will get me there.  I kept my eyes open, gaze about two feet ahead of me on the floor and felt like an island of energy, breathing into the universe.

I struggled keeping my mind focused on the breath, much more so than usual. Perhaps it was the phone call, perhaps it was that Mike came down and began practicing on the other side of the room, perhaps it was due to my eyes being open. I almost never practice pranayama with open eyes, but I have been trying to keep my eyes open throughout my practice these days, in an effort to not drop so deep and still. I am striving to stay present, connected, and aware. Lots of room for growth here!

After the pranayama, I reclined for all three versions of supta padangusthasana (reclined leg lifts, holding the big toe) and supta pascimottanasana (two legs up, holding with a strap). Then I shifted to sphinx, and several cobras, playing with my hand positions. I noticed that as I moved my hands farther back, more in line with my waist, that it was easier to pull my tail/pubic bone down, creating more space in my lower back. A couple of bent-arm dogs to bent-arm planks pumped my blood and got the shakes going. I welcomed these muscle-strengthening shakes, though afterward rewarded myself with an extended balasana, child’s pose.

Time for shoulderstand, sarvangasana. My typical set-up uses three blankets and a mat piece on top. That supports my neck and shoulders. Usually I place a folding chair at the end of my mat for my feet to rest on during halasana, plough pose, but since I had stretched the backs of my legs so much with all of those  forward bends, I decided to push it a bit and use a block. That worked fine.

Savasana. Even though my mind was quite active at the beginning of practice, as I remained in corpse, I traveled deeper and into quieter territory. Sometimes the journey within feels physical. Layer by layer dissolves into …what?…ether?, air?, the universe?,…or do we just let the outer layers slip out of our consciousness, they are there all along but we grow less aware of them? This would describe the yogic limb of PRATYAHARA, or sensory withdrawal.

The Mother of All Intentions

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During this season of intention-setting, it might be helpful to contemplate the mother-of-all-intentions: COMPASSION.

And all compassion, from the grandest benevolent foundation to the tiniest gesture of human kindness, begins with oneself.

During 2010, how can I treat myself with greater friendship, honor, and love? Can I develop kinder thoughts as well as healthier responses? What simple action can I take to implement this intention?

My first method of creating more compassion in my life and in the lives of folks I touch ~ including my online friends ~ is to work on my physical and mental health. I can develop healthier personal patterns: MORE vegetables, MORE exercise, MORE focus.

A second action is to develop a greater support system. I have taken some first steps toward gaining mentors and will continue contemplating what other sorts of support may be beneficial.

I work on these areas so that I may better serve you.

Developing a fundamental attitude of compassion, not just day-by-day, but by really paying attention, becoming mindful of moment-by-moment turns toward or away from compassion will change the world.

yoga sutra 1.12, nonattachment & practice

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Sutra.1.12 (Sanskrit:abhyasa-vairagyabhyam tad-nirodhah) says”Control over the mind’s fluctuations comes from persevering practice and nonattachment”

carolyn hanging in backbend

According to Bernard Bouanchaud, a French translator of Patanjali’s sutras, quoted here, nonattachment is inextricably linked to persevering practice if one wishes to control those pesky mental fluctuations.

Whew. Do I need to work on both of these.

Persevering practice is my weak link during long days of work that feed me on a real and intellectual level, but also drain me.  I need the practice to keep me on an even keel, refreshed and with an evenness of energy available.  This doesn’t happen inevitably.  It doesn’t happen at all in fact, if I don’t put some energy into my practice.

And guess how that happens?  I have to begin my nonattachment practice.  The things of this world are ephemeral: work will always be there, but another day without practice will keep me from living fully in the moment, enjoying sthira, stability, and sukha, bliss.

The mat is calling; do I have the courage to heed its message?