Tag Archives: pema chodron

25 Random thoughts about Laughing Yogini

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dicentra in Fredonia NY (devin photo)

Since I’ve been tagged repeatedly by FaceBook friends, I’ve gotten the message that I should provide a little more “personal” type info. for my beloved readers! So here goes, round two of 25 random thoughts….

25 Random Thoughts about LaughingYogini


chairpose1. Practices asana as a form of prayer.

2. Tore her Achilles doing the “Energy” Yoga tape with Rodney Yee and Patricia Walden ….which she did every morning after the kids left for school and M. went to work….for a solid year…still remembers the “zing” in the back of her heel  (1998 or so)

3. She and Mike spent their 25th wedding anniversary at the London Iyengar Institute in an all-day workshop on standing poses.

4. Loves teaching college students (and younger!) because of their energy and willingness to go where they’ve never gone before!

5.  Wishes her tummy was smaller so she could go deeper in several poses.

6. Is still waiting to get into full splits on the floor, lift into a complete backbend, do a headstand away from the wall, clasp her hands behind her back in gomukhasana…..hmmmm, the list goes on….but who really cares since she is alive and well and feels like a goddess in ardha chandrasana?

dscn25967. Worked intensely for 2 years with a meditation teacher with whom she no longer studies. She did however, ramp up her sitting practice AND learned a lot about herself in the process.

8. No longer publishes her e-zine CIRCLE YOGA. Laughing Yogini blog and website launched in May 2008.

9. Practiced a half hour of ujjayi breath every day for six solid months while grieving a family member’s illness and credits THAT to her own life.

10. While in legs up the wall pose, listened to Pema Chodron cds every afternoon for many many months.

11. Teaches seniors because they ROCK and they don’t hold back!

12.Will probably never become a complete and utter vegetarian, though she really does love her veggies.

13. Has always believed in a higher power…god, the goddess, the Self. The Great Spirit,  energy, collective unconscious….you know what I mean. Believes that higher is within.

14. After returning from living in Mumbai, the entire family — parents and kids: 12, 11, 8 years old — practiced yoga on the living room floor following the suggestions of Richard Hittleman’s YOGA…for about a year.

15. Her back went “electrical” when F. tried to straighten her up in sarvangasana on the last day of her first teacher training! Not to worry, sometimes body parts need adjustments.

16. Gave each other yoga ropes for their 30th wedding anniversary (2 years ago). These are now in the basement studio and add a lot of zing to their personal practice as well as the classes.

17. Researched in Light on Yoga by B.K.S.Iyengar how to help heel spurs after being told by therapist that she’d never be able to walk barefoot…she’d already tried most of traditional medicine’s treatments at that time….after practicing Supta Virasana regularly those pesky heel spurs softened!

18. Graduated from 2 separate teacher trainings. Really LOVED BOTH of them even though they were quite different from each other. Sometimes it’s not the “advanced certificate” that’s as important as much as the knowledge that can be absorbed.

19. Is not happy with what the x-rays said about her lower back (spurs, eburnation, bone on bone) BUT is determined to continue honoring the “sacred space in the lumbar spine” as Vanda Scaravelli says.

20. Wishes she would find time to read and reread all of the yoga and meditation books she has on her shelf.

rope-squat21. Was born bow-legged. Once found a pair of her baby shoes with boards connecting them at the arches which were supposed to straighten out her legs, according to Mom Kieber. She’s still working on straightening those bones!

22. Wishes she were more photogenic so she could create yoga videos just the way she thinks they’d be instructive for her students…ahhh well, they’ll have to make do with podcasts….the oral tradition.

23. While she’s broadcasting wishes: she wishes she had a full and complete studio built over the garage! And …..she’d like to get some training with Tibetans!

24. Was first introduced to YOGA nearly 40 years ago in Mater Dei High School Yoga Club. Blessings on that sweet teacher, whoever and wherever you are today!

25. Has found a deep connection to her yoga kula: students, friends, teachers, online acquaintances. She’s grateful for the wellspring of support and love that she has found there and hopes to return the sweetness with every breath.




Yoga Ethics 1, AHIMSA

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Clematis flower, Fredonia NY (ckg photo)

The first Yama is AHIMSA,  nonviolence.

I write this first yama post on nonviolence while Superbowl43 is on in another room….just to add a tad of irony regarding bringing nonviolence home.  OK OK I know that football is not intrinsically violent…but the ads often suggest a way of life that, well, can be improved upon!

Bouanchaud begins his discussion of these precepts by saying the “Respect for all beings and all things must permeate all levels.”

Ahimsa  shines like a luminous flower in the center of the circle of our practice, penetrating through and illuminating all other areas of the eightfold path.

Georg Feuerstein, preeminent yoga scholar, says in The Yoga-Sutra of Patanjali,  “They are not only the first steps on the path but form the very foundation of the whole yogic enterprise. At first the practice of these moral principles requires conscious effort, but as  the yogin’s inner being becomes more attuned to the  higher realities, the application of non-harming, truthfulness, and the other virtues becomes habitual.”

Yogini-writer Nischala Joy Devi (The Secret Power of Yoga, A Woman’s Guide to the Heart and Spirit of the Yoga Sutras)) underscores the importance of Ahimsa in the practice of the other Yamas:

“When we revere all as ourselves through Ahimsa, the other four qualities of Yama: Satya (truthfulness), Astheya (generosity), Brahamacharya (moderation), and Aparigraha, (abundance) are naturally present.”

Ahh, such a place to begin our yoga practice from! And yet, how many of us begin with an underlying sense of violence to our own bodies? How often do we  speak in a derogatory tone or words to our Selves? How often do we compare ourselves to the yogi or yogini practicing next to us, or to the teacher, or some other image we have seen in a magazine?

from my journal:

Ahimsa —all of the other principles flow from this

the biggest challenge here for me is to not harm myself

I am really working on caring for myself

mentally, physically, psychologically, spiritually.

Not overdoing anything

finding the optimal, healthy balance

drinking enough water for goodness sakes!

If I harm myself, I harm others

we are connected

being proactively healthy for myself means doing good for others

it means keeping the link whole

do not take the connection lightly

Meanwhile, I reread Farhi’s early pages (YOGA BODY MIND & SPIRIT)  for the umpteenth time and today I make a vow of practicing ahimsa toward myself. Aren’t all of the precepts summed up in this one word?

The popular Buddhist nun from Gampo Abbey, Nova Scotia, Pema Chodron suggests a practice of ultimate friendliness toward oneself. This is ahimsa, lovingkindness, metta.

Can I allow myself to float into …..myself ….without trying to tie myself up?

Can I begin to act as if I love my self?

Can I become devoted to my own spiritual and physical and mental health?.

What is the relationship of me to me?

I am working on my own dear negativity towards myself.

Do you believe in PEACE? Inner…Outer….in your community…..family- with your kids, parents, sisters….World….

Is peace the same as nonviolence – can one be at peace and be violent or self-injurious at the same time?….can they exist without each other?

Are there levels of violence and self or community-injury? How much am I willing to put up with? Do my yoga and meditation practices take me to deeper levels, so that I accept less and less injurious behavior from myself and others?

Do I truly feel this way towards all beings, or only to a certain *level* of being?

What can I do to wake myself up to a deeper practice of AHIMSA? Are there already supports in my life that will encourage the development of this ethical principle in my life?

READ MORE:

Taking these thoughts to the international arena, see the excellent Huffington Post blog piece by

Ed and Deb Shapiro – Gitmo Or Gandhi: How Does One Deal With Violence?

Insights from Jen Louden- retreat notes #3

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carolyn at Lake Erie State Park (David Kieber photo)

Wide Whacky Happy Relaxation

~Try to expand your idea of what relaxation is – get beyond what relaxation is – get beyond what you think should be doing.

~Bring that sense of your self back into your body - that precious body you have – let the twinges become a portal to your body

~Ask yourself: Am I now? – not needing to know – because the mind is not always the way to know…use the mindful questions in mini-relax sessions…Where Am I?

~Get out of your “comfort” rut – Be open to new ways of achieving relaxation e.g. read poetry instead of the newspaper or a novel

~Sometimes you need ACTIVE Relaxation like the KAlI face: Sound “ahhh” and cactus arms & stomp around to get the energy moving. You need to meet yourself where you’re at and move it to a place where you have more choice

If it’s uncomfortable/edgy, etc. – look beyond the story or specifics of the discomfort and come back to the mood behind it. Be with that feeling – just SIT with it.  Don’t focus on WHY – focus on the FEELING.

The concept and practice of RETREAT goes back to the primate females separating form the tribe when they had menses, because the bleeding would attract other animals. Some say that’s when thinking began to bifurcate.


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Nate relaxing in Guadalupe Mountains (Mark Knight photo)

FRIDAY NIGHT

Pema Chodron: “Things are always in transition.”

~Notice the transitions….What did my body ( my breath, mind, feelings) do when I am in a moment of change?

~This is often when the Shadowmonster . …the Time Monster takes over

~We forget that we have the right to CREATE OUR LIVES

~Pay attention to the small moment to moment transitions so we can prepare for the big ones (divorce, death, diagnosis)…WE continually practice paying attention to the small stuff. We practice LISTENING then.

~On retreat there is no pressure, so we can lean into the baby transitions and open ourselves to the invitation

~You can practice this uncertainty and apply it to other areas of your life

~Another way is to ask yourself mindful questions. Just spend a minute asking yourself…Replace the negative questions with POSITIVE ones. “Practice HONORING the right to choose your life.”  What do I want. Be friendly about whatever comes up.

~Use the body and heart brain when you ask yourself mindful questions

~Just reminding yourself that you have a body is pretty monumental. The way IN is through the body. It can be simple, like massaging the ears. Then recall a positive emotion, a memory – maybe even look at beloved pics. & recall the feeling and the sensations of the time and breathe a little into those feelings. Then, from that space, you can drop the question, WHAT DO I WANT TO DO NEXT- just the next thing. What does my instinct, my feelings, my desire want to do next?

*Get audio at the life organizer.com

About deepening the retreat: the retreat usually brings up deep patterns! So it’s a time to welcome dark feelings. Write about them, draw them, observe them because you are in  a safe place during retreat.

RUMI:  THE GUEST HOUSE

This being human is a guest house.

Every morning a new arrival.


A joy, a depression, a meanness,

some momentary awareness comes

as an unexpected visitor.


Welcome and entertain them all!

Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,

who violently sweep your house

empty of its furniture,

still, treat each guest honorably.

He may be clearing you out

for some new delight.


The dark thought, the shame, the malice,

meet them at the door laughing,

and invite them in.


Be grateful for whoever comes,

because each guest has been sent

as a guide from beyond.

***************************************************************

~Ask the uncomfortable feeling: Who are you?

What do you want?

What do you want me to do?

~Free Write about this and your answers….musings….machinations….

Then answer from your adult self: I am in charge here.

Ask yourself the intention question you began with as a way to deepen your retreat.

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Garden Buddha (Studio Panterra -Westfield NY)

HEALTHY COMFORT

~Don’t wait for resistance to go away. It is a part of life. When you feel secure and safe, it recedes …When you feel uncomfortable or scared, Resistance rears up!

SO just notice resistance. Don’t beat yourself up over it.

RESISTANCE HAPPENS,

Resistance does not have to tell us What to do!!!! We don’t have to give it permission.  Acknowledge that perhaps you don’t trust COMFORT.

I AM HERE.

I GET TO CHOOSE HOW I TREAT MYSELF.

I ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE.



comfortretreat insights#2

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This is a continuation of my notes from last weekend’s Virtual Comfort Retreat somewhat disjointed, etc., but you can, I hope, get the idea.

dscn2152Trillium  (Devin Kieber Grady photo)

SUSAN PIVER

Ways to keep retreat mind with you:

*containment: schedule, deadline, shrine

1. Make offerings – such as flower or pic., candle, incense – on your shrine – but the best is to offer your experience

2.Request Blessings – requires opening your mind – reflect on whatever you hold sacred

3.Dedicate the Merit – connect with whatever was roused for you during this retreat session and offer it to all beings.If you don’t do this, it’s like not clicking the SAVE button.

3 Kinds of FEAR:


1. Fear of yourself – I’m not good enough & shame

Antidote: Gentleness to yourself to allow what you feel to be as it is without trying to change it

Pema Chodron: Feel the Feeling but Drop the Story

Cultivate gentleness through sitting meditation

Whenever you feel afraid, write down 3X on a piece of paper: “I am afraid of _____”  Inhale/Exhale Repeat Breathe Repeat Breathe

2.FEAR of People – When you know how to come back to balance

Antidote: Delight – curiosity – even if you don’t like them

Cultivated through Lovingkindness

3. FEAR of Life

Antidote: Confidence – authenticity – Being who you really are moment to moment – and being able to show that to the world

LOVINGKINDNESS meditation:

May I live without fear May I live in happiness, May I live in Health, May I live in ease of wellbeing and abundance

Say first for YOU…then a loved one…then a stranger (or someone you are ambivalent towards)…then an enemy…then all beings

Flash Lovingkindness: “May you be happy” when sitting on a bus  towards each single person on bus

Always start with yourself

3 KINDS of Laziness: 1. Regular, 2. Becoming disheartened, 3. Being Too Busy

Best way to fight inertia is to figure out “If I were to accomplish my goal, what would be the next step I would take” One practical step at a time.

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Agave (Mark Knight photo)

Dr. Judith Orloff –

Emotional freedom = Increasing your ability to love more by relinquishing the hold of negative emotions

This is her own technique developed from her work as psychiatrist and intuitive and as explained in her book Emotional Freedom

Relaxation Response * see Herbert Benson’s book (my note)

How we can use any experience to develop more calm. How do we not get sucked under?

Are you an Emotional Empath? an emotional sponge – they take others’ emo.right into their body and they think that others’ emo. are their own

Honor yourself and set smart boundaries.

You must allow quiet breaks during the day

Safeguard your sensitivities e.g. if someone asks too much – you have to say NO

Know your maximum for socializing

STRATEGIES for How to Be Brave

1. Choose a light one and work with it and you can work on the bigger ones later -realize what are the triggers – frame your fear from a spiritual perspective…How can it help me develop courage and become freer

Deactivate the Fear: Breathe, Center, and Repeat mantra: I am not just this fear; I am larger…Expand beyond the particular fear to move into something larger.

Don’t become mesmerized by it. Don’t give Fear any juice, but also don’t deny that you have them.

Take 3 min. meditations during the day: Breathe and visualize a letting go of the past, such as me in the water, riding a wave…

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Lotus (Portland OR) - Devin Kieber Grady photo

Michael Bungay Stanier

This is a process you can use anytime for anything in life. It is impossible for you to do everything you want to do as a result of this retreat.

1. Start thinking about what choices you are going to make.

2.Make a decision – what are you going to say YES to and what are you going to say NO to – for NOW…Articulate these. One of the most powerful coaching questions: Doesn’t have to be the right choice – just Make the best choice you can now. It’s a practice!

-Ask What’s the real challenge here…write

-Create a range of options – possibilities for how to do these

CREATE POSSIBILITIES

-What ideas do you already have …write 4 things

-Set a defined limit…write

Brilliant coaching question: But what else might be the possibility?

-Generate one or two additional ideas for each question

- thinking about your challenge – what is the easiest thing you can do?

-What is the fastest thing you can do?

-What is the most courageous – outrageously brave -  thing you can do

DO IT FOR TWO HOURS EVERY DAY

-What would be the fun thing to do

-So don’t stop here…What will you do??? By when will you complete this??s What accountability are you going to set up? Who are you going to tell?

-Accept the FEAR & anxiety that goes with it! And Don’t CATASTROPHIZE it – spend some time asking what is the worst that could happen?

-Set up structures of support and encouragement

-Get connected with your life purpose – that can drag you through anything to get there

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Nate jumping off 5 foot rock (Mark Knight photo)

MICHAEL NEILL

Your Innate Well Being

Parts of Well Being:1) Somatic state – delicious feeling in body 2) Understanding – when you recognize what you need to achieve #1 A metta well-being

These two states feed off each other. The value of #1 is in the healing it allows

When you are in that place in you – you are smarter- you can hear your inner voice – your intuition…”I’ll be happy when…I can take more care of myslef or I have the right partner or I buy enough stuff”

-The understanding part- Where do you go to get your good feelings (#!) tells you pretty much everything about your life.

-Even healthy ways such as yoga & meditation – you are going outside and when you don’t have them, there is FEAR. You need to develop well being from the inside.

-Belief that someone else controls our feelings..But Good Feeling is INSIDE you…IT IS YOU!

You are a toaster trying to be a microwave. Release the inner toaster…You are a perfect toaster…a lousy microwave.

-There is nothing outside you that can take away your well being!

-We live stressful lives when we think our well-being can come and go…But emotional states are simply responses to THOUGHTS not to actual world.

HE can get rid of phobias in 20 mins.

In a relationship there are 4 people: your hubbie and the picture of your hubby in your head

You don’t need positive thoughts – you need to recognize that thoughts arejust thoughts. the problem isn’t that you had a negative thought- it’s that you gave it your phone # – at 4 AM when you’re alone in a dark room

-So you just need to recognize the negative thought and have patience – it’ll go away and your well being remains intact

-How you’re feeling- tells how you are thinking

-A sure sign that you are in a low mood is a sense of urgency

-When you are feeling calm – good- then you know that your thinking is clear and you can proceed to make decisions

-When you see that all of that suffering you are putting yourself through is from YOU….

-When people make transformations – it’s because they DECIDED to stop hitting themselves in the head!

-If you really want to get “present” put yourself in a dangerous situation. Put yourself in a situation that is new to you

Kinder way: Decide that being present is more important than all of that activity

EXERCISE:Do each thing as if it was the most important thing for you to do.

*QUESTION asked about manic depression:

1. acknowledge it!

2.when you start to see that even though you have a chem. imbalance you see that cycle is still based on thought

His FEEL HAPPY is a book based on this.

*2nd question about helping others:

1. Check your own state (e.g. we are trying to fix them so that we can  feel better) so get yourself in a good place before trying to help them

2. See them as capable of changing their situation. We need to believe in them and their innate wellbeing, health, happiness, and wisdom

2. Get what it is to love somebody else unconditionally..stay in your good feelings for someone even if they don’t behave the way we want them to. So begin to love the person unconditionally.

3.Easy listening: just listening with no intention to fix or make happy etc. So you begin to create space by just listening. Leave the bowl of murky water to settle! It works so well because the nature of the human is WELL.

*ADHD question

Once you realize that the allowing the thoughts to spin out is not serving you and once you begin to realize that a slower mind serves you well…you will deal with life easier!

Still not finished…will get to all of Jen Louden’s remarks tomorrow… see ya’ then.




 

Just Another Day, Another Gift

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As the days pass one after another and we tumble towards the holidays with all of the attendant socializing, as we are pulled from our routine and from our meditation and yogic practices, as we get swept up in holiday traditions that don’t suit our present lifestyle or values, it’s worthwhile to take a break from it all, and pray with Brother Steindl-Rast for gratitude to fill our lives. It’s such a cliche, but come on, what IS really important? What is the most meaningful gift we can give to our family, friends, to the world?

In a way, all of our practices are geared towards cultivating an attitude of gratefulness. Gratefulness grows out of mindfulness practice. Each and every breath is unique. Multiple gifts: both the breath itself, the prana that flows, as well as the ability to see and feel it. Gratefulness radiates from a healthy asana practice. Again, we observe many gifts in a single pose: the physical ability to “perform,” the areas of personal challenge which push us to go deeper, the beauty of synchronizing mind, breath, spirit when it happens. Gratitude showers upon us in sitting meditation when we recognize the gift of the practice itself in our lives, the boon of insight when it occurs, the attendant emotional states that teach us about our hearts.

JOURNAL EXERCISE: In this season of gift giving, it is very worthwhile to compile one or more gratitude lists BEFORE any gift exchange you may be involved in. What are you grateful for in your partner, your parents, your children, your coworkers, your neighbor (especially that really annoying one!), your gramma. How about creating a new list each morning before the day rumbles into full gear. Be sure to give yourself a list too. There is after all, no one more deserving of your love!

If any of the above are difficult, then try ramping up your lovingkindness or tonglen meditation practices.

Here is a seven minute lovingkindness meditation with insight meditation teacher, Sharon Salzburg if you are unfamiliar with this practice.

And here is a five minute description, also from Beliefnet, of Shambala teacher Pema Chodron leading tonglen practice if you are unsure of this technique.

Let’s head into the holidays with a commitment to being grateful for every single moment in our lives and for every single person in our lives. The blessing of every single day will then become the most meaningful gift and truly, one that radiates outward as it “keeps on giving.”

NAMASTE!

Why Meditate

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CENTERING

When I sit in meditation and focus on my breath….that is “normal” breath at that point…I find the simple act of being there, the act of sitting coupled with watching the breath in its daily tides….that action brings me almost immediately into a meditative space….it’s a different consciousness…an internal realm of existence that I am always happy to visit …It reminds me of the limited world I inhabit in my daily life….a world free of form….unlimited energy …it’s a place of mental rest, hence relaxation…just me and my breath…ahhhhh.

Pema Chodron, the Tibetan Buddhist teacher and monastic, calls this first stage of sitting practice, accessing absolute boddhicitta. We begin calming the wild elephants of the mind and dedicate our practice to serve all beings. What follows this stage may not be so blissful, so I am sure to savor those first quiet moments. Truly, they are what bring me over and over again back to the practice.

In yoga class, we begin with a stage called centering, which is very similar and often engenders a similar blissful state in the practitioner. Consciously befriending your breath is a transformative experience in itself. Recently, a student remarked as we were transitioning to a more physically active practice, “Ahhh, this is why I come to class!” Truly, she hadn’t needed to say anything; bliss surrounded her in a warm glow.

If you’d like to hear more of Ani Pema Chodron’s explanation of Shambala Buddhist meditation, watch the inimitable Bill Moyers interview her on PBS. Here’s the link.